Isolation occurs when your best friends live far away and life gets in the way. One of them has always lived in a different state. The other one lives closer but is so busy and stressed that we just don’t get the time to catch up in person and the other just moved away. Lucky girl to have 3 of them right?
So I have adapted to a friendship with my out-of-state girl because it has just always been that way and while it sucks, we manage. We rant and share about mom life, the vacations we plan on taking with our families. Sometimes we go weeks without talking but we always find our way back to each other. I love her and knowing she is there as I am for her, is super comforting. She’s my original pineapple. (inside joke of course)
My brother as I like to call him, the godfather of my firstborn, works retail and is entrenched in the hell that brings. Especially during the holidays. He’s exhausted and being pulled in 80 different directions even when he has a day off. I miss him terribly but we text and talk still. It’s just not the same as when we were younger. As most things tend to be. He is my safety net, my sounding board and usually the first person I call when I have something awesome, juicy or life changing to talk about. I love him with all my heart and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. Ever. He has seen me at my worst and still loves me somehow. He has been apart of my life longer than my own parents were.
The other friend just moved away. Not states away but hours away. When she lived in the area we didn’t see each other often because, well, life. However there was a certain comfort in knowing she was right there if I needed her. Or if we wanted to hang out, I could grab us some breakfast and head over to her house and we could bullshit and laugh until it was time to pick the kids up from school. We could grab a pizza or make dinner and watch Dirty Dancing together or catch up on episodes of The Walking Dead with our husbands. It was easy. Now we have to actually plan when and how we will see each other. So selfishly I’m struggling with finding the new normal with her not being “right here”. Our friendship, if that’s what you want to even call it hasn’t always been easy. We have fought and talked shit about each other. We have gotten weird with each other and not spoken from time to time. When you are more like sisters than just friends you tend to get under each other’s skin more. But the fun, talks, and pure piss your pants laughter over the dumbest shit since we were in grade school has made/makes it all worth it. She has sat with me when I wasn’t able to speak through grief and anger and has been one of the few people to ever break through that anger or grief to get me to crack a smile.
These friends and their families are my family because being an only child and losing my family at such a young age has afforded me the opportunity to hand-pick the company I keep. Now in my 30’s I have 3 amazing people who hold some of my deepest secrets, best (and worst) memories, and my heart. I am blessed to have THREE, I’d just love to be able to see them more. Love you!